Thursday, April 02, 2009

My Open Letter to the International Olympic Committee

Dear Olympics People,

Run away. Run far, far away. Run fast. Don't turn back. This place costs us enough as it is without building a bunch of useless shit that will be forgotten as soon as the corndog wrappers are swept up.

Oh, and I won't be putting on a happy face for you during your visit. It's best you get to know us as we really are. And you ain't gonna like it, because we ain't gonna kiss nobody's ass. (Remember, we voted for Blago--twice--we clearly don't care what anyone thinks.)


Taxpaying Chicagoan


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Aaron can't you spare a million or two to bring in more crime and prostituion? We can condemn and remove more buldings and send the homeless packing. All for the almighty dollar, that's the American way. ed

1:57 PM  
Blogger American Girl said...

For the life of me, I do not understand why any major city would want the summer Olympics. Once the Olympics are over the facilities do not get used enough to justify the money spent.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

And it screws up the neighborhoods, too. I've heard people say that downtown Atlanta never DID recover from '96. And it doesn't buy immortality, either. Anyone remember Sarajevo??

But all the news columnists (except the Reader, bless them) are crowing and singing about how wonderful it is, and "welcome, welcome, hosannah, all praise King Dick." I think these hacks should be forced to work the concession stands and clean up the portable toilets if this disaster DOES hit town.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Java said...

But Aaron, think how much money you can make by subletting your apartment! You can charge people exorbitant rates to sleep on your floor. It'll be so much fun!

9:48 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Actually, I'm hoping that the housing market bounces back by then. If I'm still living in the same place, maybe I can flog my condo to some sucker for a huge profit. (Actually, some neat freak with few possessions would probably find it ideal--I've tried to cram too many lives into it!)

12:15 AM  

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