Friday, December 21, 2007

The "Seven Deadly" Survey

I was tagged by Stephen from Are Your There Blog? It's Me Stephen. This should be interesting--I've never really though about these questions (for a protracted period of time, anyway), so this'll be sort of "fumbling in the dark" (just like my sex life--THERE! I beat ya to it! :-)), but let's give it a whirl...

1. If you could kill someone (or injure them egregiously) who would it be and why? Bonus points for ‘how’.

I tend to steer clear of questions like this, usually. I believe too much that what we wish on others comes back to us--"what goes around, comes around" and all that.

I am karma's bitch.

However, if it's possible to injure someone egregiously without leaving a mark on them (and don't suggest a bag of oranges, I've tried that), I'm all over it. I don't worry so much about karma in that case--one can be injured egregiously and survive. Believe me, I know.

Who would it be? I honestly can't say anymore...all the people from back home that I used to hate when I was younger have passed into the mists of nostalgia now, and when I DO come across them--at a reunion, church social or book-burning--I actually feel quite kindly towards them. Lame answer, I know. Sorry!

2. You have been given 25 Million dollars, and you have to spend it all (no donations to charity or investing). What do you spend it on?

I'd have to go with Stephen's answer first off, and say property. I'd buy a nice-sized townhome in Andersonville (on Ashland, NOT Clark, to keep the traffic noise down), but not TOO big. Property taxes would otherwise soon eat that $25 million right up. I'd also buy a house for myself down in my hometown so that I could go visit whenever I want and not worry about inconveniencing anyone or being at the mercy of Super 8.

I'd also get myself a nice dependable new car. I tend to be pretty frugal with those, too, since I hate paying lots of insurance. My dream car du jour is the Scion xB.

It's short enough to fit in any parking space and the back seat folds up and gives plenty of room to fit the drums--without the cramming and swearing usually endured in getting them into my Cavalier.

I'd still have money left over, so I'd scout out places in Europe--especially the Alpine region--I love me some snow-covered mountains!

3. You have the opportunity to steal anything in the world without getting caught. What is it and why?

Like, Stephen, I too would choose a painting. But mine's BEEN stolen a few times, so I don't have much hope of not getting caught. I've always been fascinated with Edvard Munch's "The Scream."
I loved the swirling brush technique, and the red sky. (I read somewhere recently that the red sky was NOT symbolic. At the time it was painted in the 1890s, the sky in Norway WOULD have appeared red because of the eruption of Krakatoa.)

4. You have the opportunity to pawn off one facet of your life to someone else forever. What is it and why?

My weight issues. Dear God, when they start as young as mine did (7 years), they really become part of you. You begin to identify with it so much that you almost can't imagine life without it and you begin to sabotage yourself in order to preserve "the devil you know." The trouble with that is, it's still the goddamned devil. And then you just end up fighting it your whole life. Add catastrophic family events, an overindulgence in alcohol and stir. You can see the results.

Maybe I wouldn't pawn this off on someone else. Unless I met them at a book-burning...

5. If you could have sex with anyone (or anything) throughout the history of the world without repercussions, who or what would it be and why?

Oh, Lord--where, oh where would I start?? I like Stephen's choice of Sean Connery. Oh yes indeedy. My big crush on him started not with the Bond films, but with the re-release of Darby O'Gill And The Little People. (My town theatre went through a phase in the mid- to late-70s where they showed a lot of animated Disney re-releases, too. What a perfect way to spend Sunday afternoon!)

I'd also pick Van Johnson. I just always thought he was the CUTEST fucker.

And Gregory Peck.

Wow. Just...WOW.

6. Describe the time in your life when you were the most bitterly jealous.

THE time?? Only one?? I'll have to pass on that one...there's too much to choose from.

7. If you could have free, no-death, GOOD plastic surgery on anything and everything that you want, what would you alter and why?

This is probably TMI, but as the weight comes off, I will at some point most likely end up getting bracheoplasty (taking the excess skin from the upper arms--at my age, the skin just don't snap back like it used to). But I won't do it until they find a way not to leave a scar from the upper arm to the elbow. (That sort of defeats the whole purpose of cosmetic surgery, doesn't it?) You may scoff, but there are several burn patients in Santa Monica who would be grateful for the skin. I can apologize to them later for the stretch marks.

I can't think of anyone I want to be my bitch on this one. The ones I would normally pick picked ME, and I understand there are no backsies on this. (Besides, they've already answered the questions!)

Happy Friday all!

Come see Rudolph!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll give it a shot:
1. Ann Coulter for being such a bitch. How? I would stuff a copy of the U.S. Consititution down her putrid and caustic throat.
2.New car, new house with acreage and horses and catle and other farm animals after traveling then back to farming as long as the money held out.
3.Also a painting: Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I am intrigued by a man who painted to live and lived to paint.
4. My cowardice. I've never stood up to anybody and have been pushed around all of my life.
5.Thor Heyerdahl. That Norwegian man was a hunk and we could make those rafts of his rock around the world.
6.Growing up and seeing how my brother was treated and comparing it with my lot in life.
7.My nose would be replaced with one like Matt Damon's except for the bump he has on the right side of it. Ed

12:54 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

I like your first answer...but technically, as Ann Coulter's one of the Undead, she has no life to TAKE, really...

4:49 PM  
Blogger Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Great answers!!! Property and paintings. Wouldn't that be the life? :)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Stephen: Yes, it would...yes, it would indeed. As I'm a "lumpen proletariat," I may have to settle for a tent in the wilderness and finger paintings that I do myself...but somehow, that would work for me, too, as long as it was mine...

4:05 AM  

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