Thursday, September 27, 2007

Condi Urges Cleaner Fuel

At a two-day climate conference called by President Bush (anybody else smell irony here?), Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice urged nations to move towards cleaner energy sources and reduce dependency on fossil fuels.

Since the U.S. seems to be the biggest offender on the fossil fuel front, Condi has announced her new Flatulence First plan, which coverts naturally-produced human methane gas into combustible fuel for small automobiles and scooters. Nicknamed "The Rice and Beans Plan," the proposal will be put to a special closed-door/open-window vote of the President's cabinet in the Oval Office early next month.

In other news, at a press conference at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel Wednesday, President Bush slipped up while touting gains in American education, saying "childrens do learn when standards are high."

They certainly does. And the rumble we just heard is the collective sound of the entire world falling over in a dead faint at Bush making a gaffe in public.


Anonymous Ed said...

Our eloquent Pres just considered his children's speech as an addendum to his No child left a dime program.
Topic change: I'm so depressed after last night's Democratic debates. None of the top contenders could say that all of the troops will be out of Iraq by 2013! What happened to for the people and by the people?

1:20 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Ah, but the candidates are people, too! They're doing it BY themselves and, most importantly, FOR themselves...

Crafty, eh? Way to work a loophole!

1:26 PM  
Blogger Stephen Rader said...

They're never going to stop laughing at us, are they? And by "they" I mean "The Rest of the Entire World!"

5:12 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Yes, it's all a series of pratfalls now...and not in a Ronald Reagan, "gently, folksy, forgetful" kind of way, either--but in a Ralph Kramden, "I just stepped in dog shit" kind of way...

12:34 AM  

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