Tuesday, February 02, 2010

This Just In! Sarah Palin Plays the "Outrage" Card!

Sarah Palin has a new best friend. Or at least, a juicy source of fodder for her Faux News TV show.

Apparently, last summer, Rahm Emanuel said in a closed-door meeting with Obama cabinet members that Democrats who didn't support health care reform were "f***ng retarded."

Now, granted, Emanuel doesn't choose his words wisely. Truthfully, he's brash, tactless, headstrong and politically incorrect. In fact, if he'd only take up hunting, he'd be the perfect Vice President. Sarah Palin is now calling for his dismissal and an apology from him, saying that his words are a slur against "all God's children with cognitive and developmental disabilities."

Kind Sarah Palin. Compassionate Sarah Palin. A saint who cares for all of God's children--as long as they are heterosexual, Republican and eat meat.

But she's full of pipe dreams (among other things) if she thinks Emanuel's about to apologize to her. He's already apologized to Tim Shriver, CEO of Special Olympics, who's accepted the apology. But it should be noted that Emanuel once mailed a dead fish to a political opponent. Lord knows what he'd send her (anyone seen "Pink Flamingos?"). It wouldn't likely be a dead fish, since she might mistake that for a long-lost twin.

How about this: Rahm Emanuel will quit his job and apologize the day that Sarah Palin drops out of politics and faux-news punditry and apologizes to the nation for reducing its politics to a bathing suit competition. She shouldn't have a problem with doing that--after all, removing these distractions will afford her all kinds of time to devote to her own developmentally-challenged son Trig during his first few crucial years of brain development.

And, of course, he's the most important thing in her world, isn't he?

Isn't he?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Palin's grand-babies baby daddy Levi, said that Sarah often refers to her child as her little retard. She said that it's not true, she never called him little. If I win the Lottery I'll buy Sarah a Toyota. She can use it to hunt Reindeer while the peddle is stuck to the floorboard. Although, I think that deer can run faster than 40 miles an hour. Maybe she'll drive it across the bridge to nowhere. Ted

5:04 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Maybe she'll drive it OFF the bridge to nowhere. Or ANY bridge, for that matter. I'm not that choosy.

10:32 AM  

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