"The Official End of the Sophia Petrillo Sicilian Curse!," or, "I Scrape My Chin At You, Ya Big Botchagaloop"

Today was so much better than yesterday...

First and foremost, the CAR IS DONE! They called me at about 10:30 and said it's all finished. Huge load off my mind, since I'm driving downstate tomorrow to see Mom and prefer for my hometown not to hear me coming as I pull out of my parking spot here in Chicago...

Secondly, I didn't have to buy a new doorknob after all...through a series of e-mails with our interim association president, I learned that he had a spare key, which he put under my mat. So I can leave in the morning secure in the knowledge that nobody (including the interim association president, I suppose) can get into my condo and shave Sophie while I'm gone...oh, she'd just hate that!

So I went to the muffler shop and picked up El Coche just after 5:30. I started him up and he sounded happy! Finally, I don't have to turn the radio all the way up to hear it. Stopped at the store for cat food and juice (they taste wonderful together! :-)) and came home. Found a prime parking spot on Pratt, just across the street from the back of my building. Will make packing and loading tomorrow much easier!


THOSE AREN'T JELLYFISH, SON

In other news, I found this little tidbit in the Sun-Times today. Actually, I saw it yesterday on the AP online source, but this is a better link. Apparently, there's quite a bit of shit stirring on the Malibu beaches--literally. Some stars' septic tanks are the culprits, and authorities might do some DNA testin' on the sewage to find out who those culprits are!

Yeah--you know what? I don't believe I care to find out...this is one sleeping dog that can just snooze right away, thank you very much. Apparently, Sting lives along this beach somewhere, and if I find out his shit is polluting the ocean, it'll break my heart. My biggest male crush--well, crushed! Almost as bad as when Dave Matthews dumped his scat on those people in the Chicago River. I'm sorry, I can't listen to his music the same way ever again...

Animal rights activist and celebrity boob-job Pamela Anderson said that it's not human feces at all, but the chicken farms in the area that are responsible for the pollution. "If people want to stop pollution, they should all become vegetarians." Spoken like a typical one-trick (no pun intended) pony (no pun intended) animal rights fanatic. Yep, vegetarianism will stop pollution. So now, we just have to get all the buses, cars, factories and other internal fossil-fuel combusting engines to eat only vegetables. Tell you what, Pamela--YOU go talk to them about it. I'd love to be a fly on that particular wall while you have that conversation. You whack job.


IT'S NO ACCIDENT HE'S NAMED FOR A LIZARD

I also read today that Newt Gingrich (the one-time darling of the extreme right who's now just another bitter old neo-con hack with a dyke sister) said the Democratic sex scandals were still worse than the Foley debacle. Oh, really? At least Monica wasn't a minor! He said that what the GOP doesn't need is to listen to shameless moralizing from the liberals. Oh, right--that's his job. Um, 'scuse me, Newt? You're irrelevant now...have another drink and go to sleep. Dream of important things--like the fact that you're still copying Carol Channing's hairdo.

Sometimes I really feel like I'm waiting for the Mad Hatter to pour the tea and pass the scones.

Please excuse me--I'm late. I'm late for a very important date.

(No, it's not with my hand, smartass!)