Sunday, February 11, 2007

On Outerwear and Anna Nicole...

In the true spirit of my ADD, here's yet another post about two completely disparate topics. First, the trivial shit:

It's been colder than a dead welldigger's ass here in Chi-town for the past few weeks. I'm pretty tough when it comes to cold weather, since I'm from Illinois, and we eventually get all the inclement weather that sweeps across the fruited (and fruity!) plains. I even like snow--because usually, it means that the air is warm enough to produce precipitation. Lately, however, we've had both snow (albeit, dry, powdery snow) AND bitter, subzero cold. It's been in the single digits for about nine days straight now. And my fingers are noticing it while I wait (in vain) for CTA in morning.

So I decided to go to Target and get a hat and scarf last night. I was informed by the very nice lady behind the desk near the fitting rooms that they were all out. Yes, that's correct--in the dead of winter, there are no scarves and hats to be bought. She said that they had them on clearance after the holidays, and after they sold out, they didn't get anymore in. She laughingly said, "Now we have bathing suits!" and she held one up (it would NOT have been flattering to me, even as a two-piece). I said that probably wouldn't be very comfortable right about now and we both had a good chuckle and I thanked her and went on my way. Back to my car with the heater that doesn't work very well...

It wasn't just Target, either. I also tried Marshalls, and they didn't have any either, except for a hat/mitten set for toddlers (and they was slim pickin's, too)...apparently, when it comes to winter outerwear, one has to shop preventively, because remedial shopping isn't allowed. But wouldn't it make sense to keep those things in stock at least through the end of March? I can understand that the buyers wouldn't want to fill the store with things that nobody would buy, but people (like me) do lose scarves and gloves, and have to replace them...

I finally found a hat at Walgreens, of all places, but the only scarves they had were those fake angora-y "Fashion Scarves" that are clearly intended for women. They look a little too much like feather boas, and I couldn't hold my head up walking into the office every day dressed like Joanne Worley. As much fun as that would be...


In the wake of Anna Nicole Smith's passing, I (and many others, I've noticed) did a lot of soul-searching about how I looked at her. I have to say, my opinion evolved over the years. In the mid-90s, I thought she was a golddigger and bimbo. Well, she certainly sounded like one on TV. Then came that whole reality show, "Life With Anna Nicole," in which she and her various guests were perpetually drunk and jumped on furniture all the time. But there were glimpses every so often that there was a real person underneath the garish makeup and huge gazongas.

I watched a lot of Comedy Central, and they always had ads for the show. This was before she lost all that weight, and in one clip, I heard her say laughingly, "I can't eat more than $600 worth of food at once." That's when I realized that she could have fun laughing at herself sometimes. I started to like her more.

I didn't really think much about her after that until she had her baby last Fall. I remember the pictures of her in the hospital holding her new daughter. She looked beautiful, even without a speck of makeup on. That, to me, was the essence of the real woman. This was the most intimate moment we ever witnessed--a mother and her child, all the "celebrity" scrubbed away. I remember feeling such hope for her, thinking "Now maybe she'll finally pass through this 'trashy celebrity' phase and get on with the next part of her life." I never realized just how controlled by other people that life really was.

And then her son died, just days later, in that very room. It was a cruel twist of irony, and I wondered how she would survive this. Then her former boyfriend (if I'm not mistaken, the very one whose website now tearfully proclaims how much he loved his little "sweet potato") filed eviction proceedings to have her removed from his estate where she was staying. That's love?

Now he, her partner and lawyer, Howard K. Stern, and Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband are all vying to see who's the daddy of her daughter Daniellyn. What's next--a new reality TV series, "Which Irresponsible Bastard Gets To Change The Diapers?"

So many people fighting for control of the remains of her life. So many men claiming to be responsible for this baby. And not a responsible one among the bunch. If any of these guys loved her so much, why couldn't at least one of them have intervened when her life began spinning out of control? Of course, people have to want to help themselves, but it seems like she was always encouraged by everyone--partners, producers, TV executives--to make a caricature of herself. She had to be part of the joke that was always on her.

The media will, of course, keep this going for ages, until she's reviled all over again. And this time she won't be around to speak up for herself.


Anonymous Ed said...

Rosie on the View (I know I'm a nancy boy to watch) Said that a bigger than life person like Anna Nicole was like a giant balloon in the Macy's Parade. There are 200 men holding on to tethers to keep it under control. If it is allowed to go out of control it will hurt itself and others. Anna Nicole didn't have tethers to keep her in line. I hope her baby will be able to grow up normal but it isn't likely.

12:48 PM  
Blogger dirk.mancuso said...

The whole hat/gloves/scarf drought in February is ridiculous. Thank goodness major retailers understand the buying trends in the various regions of the country. I'm sure Hawaii is thrilled to have all those snow shovels right now.

Anna Nicole. What a freakin' train wreck. I'm going to miss that column of hers in the Enquirer. Of course, Sugar Pie helped write it so maybe he can carry on...

1:52 PM  

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