Friday, May 25, 2007

"Verbatim Verboten" Redux?

AP Photo by Jeff Christiansen.

Ellen: You have the cutest little mouth. I could just eat you up. Too bad you're gay.

Matt: Uh, no, actually I just got married.

Ellen: Oh, that's legal now? Awwww, good for you!

Matt: Ummmm, noooo, to a woman...

Ellen (giggling): Seriously, cut it out.

Matt: No, seriously! To an Italian girl, Luciana.

Ellen: Oh! Well, I bet she doesn't pinch you this good...

Matt: Actually, I've got a silicone hiney on right now. I couldn't feel that.

Ellen: No shit? You mean like that "Hubba Hubba Hiney" they used on "Laverne and Shirley?"

Matt: Kinda. Except it's silicone.

Ellen: Wow. I never had that good of luck with silicone.

Matt: Looks fine to me.

Ellen: Well, aren't you sweet?

Matt: Well, I should get going now. It's good talking with you, Ms. Dickinson.

Ellen: I'll talk to you later, Leo...


Anonymous Ed said...

OMG! Matthew Paige Damon my future husband. Yes, he is gay and just pretending to like women for his acting career. In a perfect world he will admit our love and we will live in Boston and I will ghet ah Boston ahcent. Pahk youa caw in hawvad yahd! I have to practice. LOL.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Jason Falls said...

You yanked a chuckle out the fatty ... chuckle being a laugh and me being the fatty.


9:24 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Jason, I've spit coffee all over my keyboard and screen thanks to you! A chuckle is the LEAST I owe you! ;-)

Ed: Don't live in's hella-expensive. Compromise, and buy a cute cabin in Provincetown.

1:12 AM  

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