Tuesday, April 01, 2008

BONUS POST: I Fucking HATE April Fools Day

Here's a tip, douchebag*: when you send out fake e-mails or press releases announcing catastrophic information, just to rattle the cages of folks who've had enough and are ALREADY rattled, and you do so just to provide yourself with a few minutes' amusement, that doesn't make you funny.

It still makes you a douchebag.

If you want amusement so bad, renew your subscriptions to the various online porn sites that you've allowed to lapse, grab a roll of Bounty, and stay the hell out of sight for a few days. Got it?

Now go and wipe.

No, I'm not kidding.

** I won't embarrass the person (and I use the term LOOSELY) to whom this is really addressed, and they should be damned glad...however, I WILL get even.

Oh Lordy, yes...

8 Comments:

Blogger Stephen Rader said...

I adore you! I so feel the same way. There are some wonderful images over at someecards that you could send on to this asshole. FYI. :)

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Land sakes! Oncet you git Aaron mad you'd best watch out! I'm a hopin' he don't git peeved by my usin' Hoosier slang terms. My favorite poet was James Whitcomb Riley and he tried to capture the slang of early Hoosiers that was fast a fadin' away. Luckily, I heerd my Granny use these here words so's I know how to pronounce em. One of Riley's poems is "When the green gits back in the Trees" a great poem about sprang. (Oncet=one + st, Peeved=mad, Heerd=heard, Sprang =Spring, Ust=used) Hoosier may have come from "Who's Here?" or "who's yer Daddy?". Ed

5:09 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Stephen: Je t'adore, also! I'm glad I'm not just an old crab (which is what people usually tell me when I say things like this). I'll have to check out those postcards. Otherwise, I'll just have to drown him in the cee-ment pond! ;-)

Ed: I always heard it stood for "Who's yer daddy?" but I figured that was just a bad joke. None of my friends from Indiana ever laughed at it...:-) My great-granny was from IN originally (Wheatland) and she said things like "gits," and "oncet." She lived most of her life in SE Missouri, though, which had similar slang...so it's hard to tell where she actually picked it up.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that the Wheatland in Knox county near Vincennes? I used to go there with my BFF and eat catfish and drank beer. Ed

7:53 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

That's the very same Wheatland...I don't think Grandma Edith drank too much beer, although she loved her some catfish sometimes...

10:26 AM  
Blogger dirk.mancuso said...

Note to self: do not piss off Aaron.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Wise decision, my boy...wise decision. :-)

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I think I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. I know some that ain't that particular.
Wheatland is a little spot in the road. I don't like the taste of beer but I would have jumped off a cliff if my BFF had wanted me too. Yeah, I'm very devoted to my friends.

3:16 PM  

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