Thursday, January 08, 2009

"No One Saw It Coming"

Cheney Interview
Go ahead and smirk, motherfucker. You're just one nitroglycerine tablet away from playing a harp. (AP Photo by Ron Edwards.)

Lame Duck Vice President and expert marksman Dick Cheney says that nobody saw the current economic crisis coming.

Cheney says that President Bush owes no apologies to anybody (a statement that, in itself, earns a thunderbolt strike) because nobody could have predicted it would happen.

Really, Dick? Nobody? Not even you, the oldest person in the Administration? Not that we expect George W. Bush, the Alfred E. Newman of Presidents, who chose to paint a rosy face on the bleakest of current events, thereby excusing decisive action on his part (unless it benefited you and his many oil- and energy-baron cronies) to apologize--he's too arrogant and willfully dumb for that. But to say that nobody knew? Puuuuuuuhhh-leez.

In your many, many, many years on this earth (too many, actually), you've seen financial trends ebb and flow enough to realize that the fatcat real estate boom and phony sandcastle investments of the 1990s and early 2000s were bound to deflate sooner or later. And you're saying nobody could have predicted this?

Wow. One more reason for your neurologist to be worried.


Blogger American Girl said...

He means nobody except the people who saw it coming.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy Cheney shot never saw the bullet coming either. He's a sly devil that's for sure. I hear that Jeb Bush is running for Pres in 2012. Cheney will be there looking for another puppet. ed

8:01 AM  
Blogger Aaron said...

I think he's given up trying to sound credible--the main crux of his interview was "President Bush doesn't need to apologize, and how dare you suggest it. He's royalty." (As in a royal flush.)

And if this country's dumb enough to vote for another Bush, I may just join Sarah. That really WOULD be the last straw.

10:07 AM  
Blogger American Girl said...

Hurry on up if you are interested in a government-free world, we don't even have a Parliament right now (although they'll be back soon to try and toss out the prime minister). We do have the gay marriage but let me add that it is fucking cold.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Have you seen the weather forecast? It's fucking cold here too! And Mayor Daley quadrupled the parking meter rates by pimping out the meters to some private firm in Ghana or somewhere. (It's part of his "Desperately And Indiscriminately Raising Money And Taxing His Citizens Into The Almshouse In Order To Make Chicago More Attractive To The Olympic Committee" campaign.)

12:42 PM  

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