Aaron's Rotten Advice: August 6, 2010 ("My Blood Sugar is Low Today, So Watch It") Edition
DEAR AMY: My daughter forces me to make an appointment to see my grandchild. Sometimes it is impossible because either she does not return the call or she says they are too busy. I babysat for three years, and now that they no longer need me I am kept at arm's length.
I have been screamed at, called names and had doors slammed in my face — all while I was doing the baby-sitting.
Now I am being pushed out of my grandchild's life because my daughter seems to have all this anger and hatred. Though her hatred is directed at me, it is really about her own unhappiness.
I was always her punching bag. I want to walk away because the hurt is destroying me, but I'm concerned about my granddaughter and her feelings.
We have been excluded from birthdays, recitals, school functions, etc. We are not allowed to take her anywhere and she is not allowed to stay at our house.
The truly sad part is that the in-laws are not treated this way. They are included in everything and my granddaughter tells me about it. I'm looking for a support group because I wonder if there are other grandparents out there with the same problem.
— HURT AND SAD
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
There most certainly are. Ungrateful brats exist in plenty, and some of them never grow up.
But when you say you were “always” her punching bag, do you mean that she treated you like this when she was a kid? Because if so, you should have beat her ass the first time. I guarantee you there wouldn’t have been a second.
As far as the grandchild goes, it’s a shame that your Bad Seed keeps her away from you, but she’ll probably turn into a nasty little heifer like her mother. And I’ll bet as soon as the prized in-laws aren’t available to babysit, your daughter will come sniveling around, asking for your help.
And that, darling, is when you tell her to shit in one hand and want in the other.
DEAR ABBY: When I went to visit my mother, I found her lying on the kitchen floor. She said the floor soothes her back.
My mother has two expensive beds in her home; there is no reason for her to lie on the floor.
It could be embarrassing if a neighbor should pop in and find her there.
How do I get her off the floor?
-NOT BEDRIDDEN IN FLORIDA
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
What’s it to you?? It’s her house and if she wants to lie on the floor, it’s her own damned business.
Besides, I’m sure you spent plenty of time on that same floor when you used to stumble in drunk as a teenager. Shut up.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm a girl, 15, going through typical teenage problems. I've known this guy for two years, but we never talked much. Now we've become pretty good friends. A few months ago, I started wishing we were more than just friends.
I feel complete when I'm with him, and empty when I'm not. I haven't seen him since school ended, and I miss him so much, I can't stand it. Time seems to fly by so quickly when I'm with him and so slowly when I'm not.
I can't imagine life without him. I really want to take our relationship to the next level, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way. My friend asked him and he said he didn't.
I haven't told him yet, but almost everyone knows, I think he might be starting to catch on, and I want to be the one to tell him. I'm not sure how. Should I do it in person, by phone, e-mail, or through Facebook?
I don't want to lose the relationship we do have, yet I don't want to keep this from him any longer. I've never had a boyfriend before, and I feel like he's the one, I don't want to be with anyone else, yet I don't think he wants to be with me. What should I do?
-CONFUSED
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
Your question was answered in paragraph three. You know, the part where your “friend asked him and he said he didn’t.” Quit while you’re ahead--don’t be a glutton for punishment. I’ve been there and done that.
Keep your friendship the way it is and you’ll be a lot happier. Besides, in about 10 years, he’ll have a pot belly and live in a trailer. Think what a lucky escape you’ll have had then.
Feel better? I thought so. Now, run along and sell your Girl Scout cookies.
DEAR MARGO: I so love my fiance! He is amazing and tolerant of me (no easy task). He cleans my (our) cat’s litter box and the bunny cage and does the dishes. However, as we are to be married in fewer than three months, I am on my second round of cold feet. I want kids. Over the past five and a half years, I have managed to turn him from his idea of "oh, adoption would be good" (and I agree that adoption is the superior, selfless moral choice) to "a little being that is half-you and half-me would be cool."
My reason for writing is that he can be lazy at times. Like I said, he is really good at doing household chores that he deems important. (Did I mention he makes the bed every day? I’m so ungrateful!) But if it’s something I think is important, like dusting or wiping down the kitchen countertops, he leans toward the lazy side. And he plays video games. I wouldn’t take that away from him, but children take work, and I find myself overcome with fear about being a married single mother. Knowing that his own father wasn’t particularly hands-on, I worry about how much support I would get from him and how much labor-equity I will see in the realm of childrearing.
Since he is so amazing and I’m so happy and ridiculously lucky, should I simply forget about children and just live happily ever after as we are? How do I know now, before marriage and pregnancy, whether he will step up to the plate?
--WORRYING
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
What, exactly, in the hell is your problem?? Not only do you write like a spastic hipster, but living with you must be a grating pain in the ass.
Why can’t you compromise on the household chores? Let each of you do the tasks that you deem individually important—let him clean the catbox and the bunny cage, and make the beds; you can dust and wipe the countertops, then sit around and complain, and nag him while protesting that you aren’t. (Here’s a little tip: I think “happily ever after” is probably happier for you than it is for him.)
Or would you prefer to trade places and clean the catbox yourself? I thought not.
Get your tubes tied. Now.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the correct way to stand in an elevator? It seems rude to put your back to people, but also rude to face people with your back to the wall as if you are staring at them. What is your opinion?
--WONDERING
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
The correct way to stand in an elevator is on your feet—it’s much too hard on the hands. And it doesn’t matter so much which way you face, as long as you don’t fart.
I have been screamed at, called names and had doors slammed in my face — all while I was doing the baby-sitting.
Now I am being pushed out of my grandchild's life because my daughter seems to have all this anger and hatred. Though her hatred is directed at me, it is really about her own unhappiness.
I was always her punching bag. I want to walk away because the hurt is destroying me, but I'm concerned about my granddaughter and her feelings.
We have been excluded from birthdays, recitals, school functions, etc. We are not allowed to take her anywhere and she is not allowed to stay at our house.
The truly sad part is that the in-laws are not treated this way. They are included in everything and my granddaughter tells me about it. I'm looking for a support group because I wonder if there are other grandparents out there with the same problem.
— HURT AND SAD
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
There most certainly are. Ungrateful brats exist in plenty, and some of them never grow up.
But when you say you were “always” her punching bag, do you mean that she treated you like this when she was a kid? Because if so, you should have beat her ass the first time. I guarantee you there wouldn’t have been a second.
As far as the grandchild goes, it’s a shame that your Bad Seed keeps her away from you, but she’ll probably turn into a nasty little heifer like her mother. And I’ll bet as soon as the prized in-laws aren’t available to babysit, your daughter will come sniveling around, asking for your help.
And that, darling, is when you tell her to shit in one hand and want in the other.
DEAR ABBY: When I went to visit my mother, I found her lying on the kitchen floor. She said the floor soothes her back.
My mother has two expensive beds in her home; there is no reason for her to lie on the floor.
It could be embarrassing if a neighbor should pop in and find her there.
How do I get her off the floor?
-NOT BEDRIDDEN IN FLORIDA
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
What’s it to you?? It’s her house and if she wants to lie on the floor, it’s her own damned business.
Besides, I’m sure you spent plenty of time on that same floor when you used to stumble in drunk as a teenager. Shut up.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm a girl, 15, going through typical teenage problems. I've known this guy for two years, but we never talked much. Now we've become pretty good friends. A few months ago, I started wishing we were more than just friends.
I feel complete when I'm with him, and empty when I'm not. I haven't seen him since school ended, and I miss him so much, I can't stand it. Time seems to fly by so quickly when I'm with him and so slowly when I'm not.
I can't imagine life without him. I really want to take our relationship to the next level, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way. My friend asked him and he said he didn't.
I haven't told him yet, but almost everyone knows, I think he might be starting to catch on, and I want to be the one to tell him. I'm not sure how. Should I do it in person, by phone, e-mail, or through Facebook?
I don't want to lose the relationship we do have, yet I don't want to keep this from him any longer. I've never had a boyfriend before, and I feel like he's the one, I don't want to be with anyone else, yet I don't think he wants to be with me. What should I do?
-CONFUSED
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
Your question was answered in paragraph three. You know, the part where your “friend asked him and he said he didn’t.” Quit while you’re ahead--don’t be a glutton for punishment. I’ve been there and done that.
Keep your friendship the way it is and you’ll be a lot happier. Besides, in about 10 years, he’ll have a pot belly and live in a trailer. Think what a lucky escape you’ll have had then.
Feel better? I thought so. Now, run along and sell your Girl Scout cookies.
DEAR MARGO: I so love my fiance! He is amazing and tolerant of me (no easy task). He cleans my (our) cat’s litter box and the bunny cage and does the dishes. However, as we are to be married in fewer than three months, I am on my second round of cold feet. I want kids. Over the past five and a half years, I have managed to turn him from his idea of "oh, adoption would be good" (and I agree that adoption is the superior, selfless moral choice) to "a little being that is half-you and half-me would be cool."
My reason for writing is that he can be lazy at times. Like I said, he is really good at doing household chores that he deems important. (Did I mention he makes the bed every day? I’m so ungrateful!) But if it’s something I think is important, like dusting or wiping down the kitchen countertops, he leans toward the lazy side. And he plays video games. I wouldn’t take that away from him, but children take work, and I find myself overcome with fear about being a married single mother. Knowing that his own father wasn’t particularly hands-on, I worry about how much support I would get from him and how much labor-equity I will see in the realm of childrearing.
Since he is so amazing and I’m so happy and ridiculously lucky, should I simply forget about children and just live happily ever after as we are? How do I know now, before marriage and pregnancy, whether he will step up to the plate?
--WORRYING
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
What, exactly, in the hell is your problem?? Not only do you write like a spastic hipster, but living with you must be a grating pain in the ass.
Why can’t you compromise on the household chores? Let each of you do the tasks that you deem individually important—let him clean the catbox and the bunny cage, and make the beds; you can dust and wipe the countertops, then sit around and complain, and nag him while protesting that you aren’t. (Here’s a little tip: I think “happily ever after” is probably happier for you than it is for him.)
Or would you prefer to trade places and clean the catbox yourself? I thought not.
Get your tubes tied. Now.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the correct way to stand in an elevator? It seems rude to put your back to people, but also rude to face people with your back to the wall as if you are staring at them. What is your opinion?
--WONDERING
AARON’S ROTTEN ADVICE:
The correct way to stand in an elevator is on your feet—it’s much too hard on the hands. And it doesn’t matter so much which way you face, as long as you don’t fart.
posted by Aaron at 1:59 PM
1 Comments:
The Dear Abby letter where the mother prefers lying on the floor to sleeping in one of her two expensive beds. Uh...what has the price or value of the beds have to do with anything? And why is the adult child still barging in with out calling first? Mother should answer the door naked next time.
In the Dear Margo letter, she finds him perfect and lazy and hard working and lazy and good husband material and non supportive. I fear I see a lonely old maid with 20 cats in her future.
Dear Miss Manners what is the correct way to stand in an elevator? In her case she should wear a sign that says I'm a snob and better than you so don't look at or talk to me. Oh, and wear dark glasses. Believe me she'll be doing us all a favor.
Happy, happy weekend, Aaron! ted
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