Free Fuckin' Advice Already! October 10, 2008
DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend's culture supports the parent generation, even if they have enough money. We're both in debt, yet he uses our joint account to send his parents on vacations while we can't afford one.
--FURIOUS
SYA SAYS:
Look, lady, your boyfriend already wrote in six weeks ago. I got nothing else for you guys. If he won’t listen, dump the bastard. Then he can move in with Mommy and Daddy and watch the house while they go off on the vacations that he can’t afford.
DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been married for six years, and every year without fail, my mother-in-law takes over plans for the holidays by telling my husband and his two siblings what foods to prepare, what gifts to bring, the time to get together and at whose house the event will be held.
Even though her son- and daughters-in-law still have living parents, my mother-in-law insists that the actual holiday be spent with her. We all live in the same town and visit her often the rest of the year, so I am at a loss why she believes we should all spend the holidays with only her.
On the one occasion that I spent part of a Christmas Day with my parents (my husband did not offer to go with me), she bad-mouthed me to my husband's siblings and all were quite put out with me when I arrived later.
For the last two years when the holidays have been at my house, she has criticized me during my Christmas dinner.
When I pulled my husband aside to tell him my feelings were hurt, he told me to "let it go" because it was Christmas.
My husband and I have been to a counselor for problems in the relationship. The counselor has advised my husband to stand up for me, but he still has yet to do so.
Can you help?
––SCROOGED
SYA SAYS:
Sounds like your husband’s a mama’s boy who lets her walk all over him. In fact, the whole family must be brainless zombies if all she has to do is flap her saggy gums to turn them against you. I can’t imagine spending Bastille Day with such unpleasant people, much less Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be about being happy with your family, and if part of your family makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, stay away from them. Easier said than done, I know, but I’m in a bloody mood today, and that’s my advice. Take it or leave it.
When she criticized you during the last two Christmases, you should have pointed to the door, and politely reminded her of at least one place she could go, and given her a bag of stuffing for the road.
Incidentally, I’d mention to your husband that he has the same option if he doesn’t stand up for you or himself. (I doubt you’d miss the sex, since he clearly has no balls.)
DEAR ABBY: I have fallen in love with "Chris," an amazingly thoughtful, supportive, caring man. We have been dating for seven months. We have many values and interests in common, such as religion, social justice and the great outdoors. However, Chris is visually impaired.
Chris can't drive and has trouble reading regular type or street signs. My parents, whose opinion I respect, are against the relationship because of Chris' genetic disability and his race.
Should I continue this relationship? I know real love is a rare gift, yet I worry that I may be setting myself up for problems in the future. I'm afraid I may end up resenting Chris for what he can't do, and my parents for not accepting him. I would greatly appreciate some advice. Should love be blind?
--INDECISIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO
SYA SAYS:
His race, eh? Well, well, well, I think we’ve come to the crux of the argument. So here’s the deal: seven months is still a fairly new relationship, so you need more time to discover where this is leading and if you really want something more permanent. If you do, and if real love is as rare a gift as you say, then you should listen to your heart, not your insular, racist parents.
Besides, it’s getting to the point where none of us can drive because of the cost. That will hardly matter soon.
DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend collects toys --action figures, army men, miniature racing cars, etc. We live in a small apartment and are expecting our first baby. I can't stand the clutter or the dust!
--FED UP
SYA SAYS:
You’re expecting a baby and you’re worried about the clutter now??
Just wait, honey…
--FURIOUS
SYA SAYS:
Look, lady, your boyfriend already wrote in six weeks ago. I got nothing else for you guys. If he won’t listen, dump the bastard. Then he can move in with Mommy and Daddy and watch the house while they go off on the vacations that he can’t afford.
DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been married for six years, and every year without fail, my mother-in-law takes over plans for the holidays by telling my husband and his two siblings what foods to prepare, what gifts to bring, the time to get together and at whose house the event will be held.
Even though her son- and daughters-in-law still have living parents, my mother-in-law insists that the actual holiday be spent with her. We all live in the same town and visit her often the rest of the year, so I am at a loss why she believes we should all spend the holidays with only her.
On the one occasion that I spent part of a Christmas Day with my parents (my husband did not offer to go with me), she bad-mouthed me to my husband's siblings and all were quite put out with me when I arrived later.
For the last two years when the holidays have been at my house, she has criticized me during my Christmas dinner.
When I pulled my husband aside to tell him my feelings were hurt, he told me to "let it go" because it was Christmas.
My husband and I have been to a counselor for problems in the relationship. The counselor has advised my husband to stand up for me, but he still has yet to do so.
Can you help?
––SCROOGED
SYA SAYS:
Sounds like your husband’s a mama’s boy who lets her walk all over him. In fact, the whole family must be brainless zombies if all she has to do is flap her saggy gums to turn them against you. I can’t imagine spending Bastille Day with such unpleasant people, much less Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be about being happy with your family, and if part of your family makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, stay away from them. Easier said than done, I know, but I’m in a bloody mood today, and that’s my advice. Take it or leave it.
When she criticized you during the last two Christmases, you should have pointed to the door, and politely reminded her of at least one place she could go, and given her a bag of stuffing for the road.
Incidentally, I’d mention to your husband that he has the same option if he doesn’t stand up for you or himself. (I doubt you’d miss the sex, since he clearly has no balls.)
DEAR ABBY: I have fallen in love with "Chris," an amazingly thoughtful, supportive, caring man. We have been dating for seven months. We have many values and interests in common, such as religion, social justice and the great outdoors. However, Chris is visually impaired.
Chris can't drive and has trouble reading regular type or street signs. My parents, whose opinion I respect, are against the relationship because of Chris' genetic disability and his race.
Should I continue this relationship? I know real love is a rare gift, yet I worry that I may be setting myself up for problems in the future. I'm afraid I may end up resenting Chris for what he can't do, and my parents for not accepting him. I would greatly appreciate some advice. Should love be blind?
--INDECISIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO
SYA SAYS:
His race, eh? Well, well, well, I think we’ve come to the crux of the argument. So here’s the deal: seven months is still a fairly new relationship, so you need more time to discover where this is leading and if you really want something more permanent. If you do, and if real love is as rare a gift as you say, then you should listen to your heart, not your insular, racist parents.
Besides, it’s getting to the point where none of us can drive because of the cost. That will hardly matter soon.
DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend collects toys --action figures, army men, miniature racing cars, etc. We live in a small apartment and are expecting our first baby. I can't stand the clutter or the dust!
--FED UP
SYA SAYS:
You’re expecting a baby and you’re worried about the clutter now??
Just wait, honey…
posted by Aaron at 9:50 AM
1 Comments:
The first two letters make me sorry I never had children. Who knew taht the parents can boss them around forever? Damn. that would be so much fun.
The girl is in love with Chris and they have a lot in common. Except that he is almost blind and a different RACE! Come on girl, this is the 21st century. No arranged marriages and being free to marry the one you love. I bet there not voting for Obama either.
The girl is expecting her first baby in the cluttered apartment with her boyfriend. Action figures are the least of her worries. She could dust them off and she can replace them with Fisher-Price toys but if she ain't got that ring on her finger she's only fooling herself. ed
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