Sunday, January 13, 2008

Glenn Beck's Pain in the Ass...

Conservative radio host Glenn Beck has found out that health care crises aren't funny when they happen to you.

The blowhard commentator had entered a hospital a few weeks ago for what he thought was an outpatient procedure to correct hemorrhoids. (Yes, you read correctly.) However, complications from the surgery sent him back to the hospital for several days and he discovered that not everybody in the world is going to kiss Glenn Beck's healing ass.

He recounts how his wife was "struggling to carry him in," and that the triage nurse did nothing to help--"standing, drumming his fingers against the doorway, as if to say 'let's get on with it.'"

First of all--your wife had to carry you??! You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me! Second of all, your reputation no doubt precedes you--several people probably knew who you were and weren't inclined to give you special treatment. So you felt neglected. Well-SURPRISE!-most patients these days do.

Beck says that this incident hasn't changed his opposition to the proposal for universal health care. He says we don't need the government to step in and fix things, we need to hire more compassionate people to do the caregiving.

That sounds very well and good, Glenn--but since we can't trust people to BE compassionate and to behave the way common decency supposes them to, we have to put rules in place to make sure they do so, or at least penalize them for not doing so. That's called--you guessed it--government. I guess civics lessons must have taken a back seat when you were playing with that ham radio as a teenager.

About his ordeal, Beck says that the drugs made him feel so suicidal that "if someone had come into my room with a loaded gun, I'd have ended it."

Um--oh, it's too easy. I'm not even going to say it...


Blogger Stephen Rader said...

How do you remove a pain in the ass from a pain in the ass? That is the question presented here, isn't it? :)

8:38 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

It is, indeed, Stephen! It is, indeed...I hope the Republicans come up with a pill for that someday. They'll only thank themselves.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard he was actually in the hospital to have his head removed from his ass but it didn't work.


1:05 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Sarah: Too bad, isn't it? Although can you imagine the influx of Republican patients the hospitals would start seeing if such a procedure were successful? Our already over-taxed system would completely collapse overnight. :-)

1:33 PM  
Blogger Johnny C said...

Maybe there is something to that whole karma thing.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Johnny: I hope so--there are some people I'm just DYING to pay back, and I can't even remember what for anymore...maybe karma can remember! :-)

10:04 AM  

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