Cherish Every Day, or Some Shit Like That...
Last week, we had a bit of a scare with mom...my aunt said that she wasn't getting out of bed and was refusing to eat. She gave mom the cell phone while she was visiting Friday morning and let me talk to her. Her speech was really slurred and she sounded really out of it. Knowing her condition, I didn't know if she'd ever get up, so I made plans to go down Tuesday/Wednesday of this week and see her for a few days, come back for our Joans gig and to finish up some work on Thursday, then go back on Saturday. I called a few times on Friday and the bitchy nurse said she was refusing to get up (she made it sound like mom was staging a sit-in or something). I fought the urge to tell her to go work at Taco Bell if her job was such a pain, and just asked her to tell Mom I loved her and would call again tomorrow.
I talked to Mom on Saturday and she sounded better--no slurred speech and she was up and going to the dining room. Since then, my aunt says she's been in her room and won't get out or go eat, but I've decided to just go down Saturday as originally planned...I have a feeling that this will be happening in waves from here on, and while they'll be more frequent, there's no way I can predict what's going to happen and no point in driving myself crazy over it (I'm already halfway there).
In other news, this morning we found out that one of our co-workers had a massive heart attack over the weekend. He's in Loyola Hospital now, so we're just waiting to hear how things go and sending good thoughts, since that's all we can really do.
He's in his mid-50s, but has always been a really healthy eater. That doesn't guarantee anything, but it does make one wonder...apparently, the doctors have cleaned his arteries, so that's a good thing anyway...
I feel guilty because he's "chattier" than I am, and he always makes conversation whenever he sees me, and I just sort of respond. albeit pleasantly, but not really actively, if you know what I mean (to be honest, there are some days I just want to get through it and then disappear). Maybe this will inspire me to be more proactive about conversing and interacting, the way I used to.
I'll try to take whatever lesson I can from it...in the meantime, my thoughts are with him and his family.
I talked to Mom on Saturday and she sounded better--no slurred speech and she was up and going to the dining room. Since then, my aunt says she's been in her room and won't get out or go eat, but I've decided to just go down Saturday as originally planned...I have a feeling that this will be happening in waves from here on, and while they'll be more frequent, there's no way I can predict what's going to happen and no point in driving myself crazy over it (I'm already halfway there).
In other news, this morning we found out that one of our co-workers had a massive heart attack over the weekend. He's in Loyola Hospital now, so we're just waiting to hear how things go and sending good thoughts, since that's all we can really do.
He's in his mid-50s, but has always been a really healthy eater. That doesn't guarantee anything, but it does make one wonder...apparently, the doctors have cleaned his arteries, so that's a good thing anyway...
I feel guilty because he's "chattier" than I am, and he always makes conversation whenever he sees me, and I just sort of respond. albeit pleasantly, but not really actively, if you know what I mean (to be honest, there are some days I just want to get through it and then disappear). Maybe this will inspire me to be more proactive about conversing and interacting, the way I used to.
I'll try to take whatever lesson I can from it...in the meantime, my thoughts are with him and his family.
posted by Aaron at 9:10 AM
6 Comments:
Speaking as one who is in his mid 50's, I've decided that my mom is right about some things. She says that when my number is up I'll go and no matter how well I've cared for myself I'll still burn in Hell for being queer. I think God made me the way I am and that he loves me if I have green or blue eyes or am gay or straight. Maybe I'm crazy but I still exercise and try to eat right most of the time. Aaron, try not to get frustrated, it won't be easy. I sorta know how you feel. You wish you still lived near your mother one minute and are glad of the distance the next. I kept visiting my grandma in the nursing home even after she couldn't remember who I was and the nurse said I was just confusing her. Last december I went through the same thing with my BFF. He got so bad and so drugged up he became agitated to see me so I didn't go back and he died on christmas day. I know there was nothing I could do to help him and it was super frustrating. Just keep your friends around and hold on you know? Ed
Thanks, Ed. You hit the nail on the head! I will try to remember what you've said. Somehow, it helps to hear it...
Your mom's body probably needed some rest so she paid attention to it and rested. Feel free to complain to the supervisor if you get a crabby nurse on the phone again. The family has to be treated well, too. It's part of the job.
As long as you feel like you're doing the right things for your mom, you probably are and I'm sure she knows it.
So to hear about your friend, Ed. My mom's BFF of 70 years died just before Xmas. It's tough to lose someone who is such a constant in your life.
Sarah: Thanks for the encouragement, and the tip. This nurse was one that I don't think I've talked to before (I didn't recognize the name). I'll have to sneak a peek when I go down this weekend and see if she looks like Louise Fletcher in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest."
I agree with Sarah -- if that nurse gives you shit again, go straight to the administrator/supervisor. Courtesy and compassion are not an optional skills in her line of work and if she doesn't realize that, perhaps she can pursue a lucrative career as a welfare queen.
Big hugs and best wishes to you and your mom.
Thanks for the support, Dirk! I talked to Janice today (who's answered before) and she's always very nice. So Phyllis must not be a regular on that ward.
Janice said that Mom will not get out of bed, so I'm glad I'm going down over the weekend...and the weekend after!
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